Sunday, September 6, 2009

No time for S3x – Impossible!

Here are some snipits from my inbox & comment threads:

“At the end of the day, I’m just too exhausted to even think about doing it.”

“We had time when we both worked days, but now he’s working night shift and we never see each other.”

“…the house, the yard, the kids, he does his thing, I do mine, we don’t even sit next to each other when we watch TV anymore.”

Yes! We all get tired – life is busy, busy, go-go-go!

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

First of all, if you REALLY don’t have time, there’s nothing wrong with a quickie now and then. Do you honestly think when William and I get alone in the pantry it goes on for hours? No! This is a quickie before dinner or getting it on while the kids are running around outside.

Second of all – you really have more time than you think. To my TV reader --- if you have time to watch TV, you have time for sex. If he’s not sitting by you – sit by him! Sit in his lap!

Here are some other ideas for those short of time:
1. The “sex alarm clock” If you go to bed after midnight, exhausted (too exhausted to brush your teeth even) and there is no way you can get it on. Even if you (or your lover) has to wake up early, set a sex alarm. The sex alarm wakes you up an hour or so before your normal wake up time. Or it can wake you two hours after you’ve gone to sleep –you can have “middle of the night sex” and then go back to sleep and wait for the morning alarm. Keep some mouthwash next to the alarm, because after all you didn’t even brush your teeth before going to bed.

2. Shower together. You’re going to take a shower and your love is going to take a shower. Combine the showers together – help each other get clean and wow – look at the time…. The time for shower number two can be best spent together. (or for you clean freaks, get it on first and clean up in the shower after)

3. Lunch time. If one goes to work and the other is at home – can you meet for lunch? Yes? Do you both work anywhere near each other that you could meet for lunch? Meet half way?

4. I would never encourage anyone to use their sick time if they weren’t sick, but if you both just happened to get sick on the same day (wouldn’t that be nice?) and had to leave work only a bit early (not too big of a hit to the paycheck if you don’t have sick time) and both ended up at home at the same time and before the monsters get home from school. Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t feel too sick to get naked and crawl into bed together? Okay, you can use vacation time if you have to. Or get to work late in the morning and stay later at work to make up the time.

5. Get your kids on a schedule. Get them to bed at a certain time. Even if they manage to stretch it an hour later… you still have time between their bedtime and your bedtime to be with your love.

6. See my past tip the movie rule If you have time to watch a movie (or sport event, or TV show) you have time to …

7. See my past tip no TV if you have kids young enough to be influence (bribed) by TV / movies.

8. Share your tips!

What else works? Share your tips!!


  1. Great tips, now to put them into practice,

  2. Sex alarm clock? Sounds divine. :)

  3. ooh-la-la...CALIENTE!!
    Thanks for the tips!

    Sassy Chica

  4. Yes, Yes, Yes! To all of it! I think you covered all the ways to hook up with your mate. I can't think of anything to share.

    My first visit to your blog! I love it! Nice to meet you!


  5. Ohhh I could go into some deep details here - lets just let this old girl say -- DON'T MISS ANY CHANCE!!!!!

  6. I absolutely LOVE middle of the night sex!
    When The Hubs wakes up from one of "those" dreams and rolls over and begins to caress me, I know what is gonna happen... and boy is it GREAT!
    Plus it's always good to surprise your hubby if he can come home for lunch by having something really sexy on -- like a see through nighty, or just thigh-high stockings and heals. He'll probably go back to work hungry, but definitely satisfied!! :-)

    (OK, not to be crude, but my word for authentication is "in tim" - teehee)

  7. Thanks for visiting Claudia's Blog. SHe is a very precocious 8 year old--and I LOOOOVE her for it.

    Ok, Now a request, background first: My husband and I have sex 6 times per week, at least. But usually one night a week we are extra tired or just "off". How can I get over my stuffiness and have sex when I 'm sorta pissed at him (like tonight)? Hurry. LOL

  8. I am telepathic and I know something...I know that at 12:01 a.m. on 9/7/09, there will be TWO things for you at my blog ♥

    Thanks for being my bloggie friend.

  9. Dude. Quickies are hot. And frantic. Yes please. know theoretically, I'm not talking about ME. I mean I am a nun who's devoted herself to purity and uh...ok I was talking about me.

  10. @Veg - I knew it all along -I mean how many nuns would have Assassin in their blog name?

    @lorie - Girl! Way to serve your man lunch

    @Red - thank you!!!

    @Jenn - does he read me? Maybe if he reads first...we would get somewhere?

    @Martie- would you be over it after 2 hours of sleep? Would the s3x alarm clock work? If not maybe you could do like my grandma (see post about emotional affairs) and pretend he's a hot actor? But it does sound like you guys are doing fine!

    Thanks to all the new visitors & for everyone's comments!

  11. hey there,
    thanks for stopping by and leaving your sweet comment! i love meeting new people and reading their interests and you have a great blog! great list! love the alarm clock.. being marriend 24 years i could form a longggg interesting list but love to read yours, keeping it fresh!

  12. Stopping in for a visit! Thanks for stopping by my site!
    Happy Labor Day!
    - CougarTales

  13. Yes, there is always time isn't there? But really wow -- when they're running around outside? I tried to take a shower today while my husband had them at the park and I STILL got walked in on :) You're a brave lady!

  14. I needed this tonight. I've been really tired since my work schedule has changed, and our sex life has really suffered. SInce it's my husband's birthday, I need to get in the mood!

  15. A sex alarm? No. That won't work here. I value my sleep too much.

  16. @Shelley - thank you!

    @Michelle -I know! Sometimes I want to lock them up (shhhh.... I didn't just say that, did I?)

    @Kristina - that's it go give your man a happy birthday!!! (Don't let work suck the energy out of family time!!!)

    @WhisperingWriter -well there are other times of the day!

    @Vodka Logic - Thank you!!!!!

  17. We work them in sometimes when the kids are playing in the basement. Not the best for her but I always win.

  18. What a great blog you've got here! LOVE the clever title and all the sex tips! ;)

    Thanks for stopping by... i'll for sure be back here!

  19. Chris - whatever works!!! Get the kids playing so mommy and daddy can play!!!

    Foxy - thanks for the kind words!!!

  20. Wow, GREAT post!! I love it! we need more info like this to help couples out! We don't have kids yet but I already sometimes worry about how our time will be spend once we do.

    Wow, this post just made me THAT much more grateful for my husband! Thank you!!

    And Happy Sharefest!

  21. I'm going to find away to leave this on my computer for my boyfriend to read. We don't even have kids but, let's just put it this way. we're in a dry spell!!