Sunday, September 13, 2009

S3xy Laundry

No this is not a post about lingerie so if you’re looking for that, you’ll have to click somewhere else. Yes, click off. (Yes, I just said that)

But don’t leave if you want to know about laundry S3x in the pantry style.

I am a laundry sorter freak. They might have self-help classes for people like me. I sort by color. Not darks and lights and whites. I have a black load. And a red load. Even a pink load.

And I sort by category. I separate towels from everything else. Sheets have their own stack. So do table linens. But towels get hypercategorized – white towels are one load (yes, they are), and kitchen towels aren’t ever washed with bath towels (no way!)

But I have this other philosophy about housework too and that is ---PAY ATTENTION this could save your life – okay, make your marriage a little more peaceful.

Where was I?

Lynn’s advice to save your life marriage / partnership: If the person you love wants to do housework let him / her do it as they like. Yes, however they like. H3ll, they are doing housework. Back off.

So even when our tikes were little and I wanted the baby clothes washed with the baby detergent, I shut my mouth because William (who I love) was doing laundry!
And these days when he and I both tackle the mountain of clothes that used to be a laundry room he doesn’t go for my categories and subcategories. He swiftly combines the pinks and reds. He mixes darks with jeans (okay, jeans are one load too. I’m weird, I admit it)

But today I broke a rule. I saw him place a tablecloth in with a load of sheets. (Tablecloth in with the sheets –Oh No!) I opened my big mouth.

Me: You can’t put a tablecloth in there

Wm: Why not?

Me: Because it’s with the sheets.

Wm: So?

Me: That’s like an eating thing with a sleeping thing.

Wm: Why does it even matter, they are getting clean?

Me: Because the sheets are like, you know. And the tablecloth – we EAT on the
tablecloths.

Wm: Lynn, we do it on the sheets, I get it. But what if…

-and I knew what he was thinking –

Wm (continued): What if? We… do it on the kitchen table?

I forgot all about laundry for a moment. It has been awhile since we’ve done it on the kitchen table. (We’ve found a hideout in the pantry thanks to these kids of ours).

My mind flashed back – It wasn’t the most comfortable place we’ve done it or the most practical, but it was fun. We should tackle the table again!


And, of course, wash the tablecloth immediately afterwards –in a load of its own!

36 comments:

  1. Hi. Just found you through Cougar Tales. Love your blog, very honest and funny!

    That's some crazy laundry sorting skills you've got! And some great advice about housework...I need to follow that rule better.

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  2. That is funny, I wish we had a pantry ;)

    As for laundry, it all gets crammed into the machine, what ever. lol.

    xx

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  3. I thought that if you mixed a red load and a white load, that is how you would get a pink load!? LOL!

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  4. I love your posts! The last time I let my Hubby do the laundry, I looked in the washer and everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was packed in there so tight it wasn't even moving....That was the last time he did the laundry. I wash pinks with the whites and if I'm almost done doing the laundry and there is one white sock and the load is a dark or jeans load....I throw it in with the darks. I hope I didn't cause you to have a heart attack. I just want the laundry basket to be empty, even if it's for one second.

    I wash our jammies with our sheets and that's it! Nothing else!

    Hugs!!

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  5. Classic! I also love how you tackle the Laundry Mountain together - very sweet.

    I'm a bit picky with my loads as well, but you win. Hands down. I never even THOUGHT of the sheets vs. tablecloth dilemma.

    But, then again, I don't use tablecloths...

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  6. Im right there with you on the letting them do it their way. The second you say something is when they STOP doing it. And then your screwed and doing it all yourself.
    Oh and I do SOME of the crazy things you do with laundry, but Im slightly less nutty about it! lol Just sayin. Like sheets are washed with only sheets, towels with towels. That sort of thing.
    And I dont have a table cloth, so what then? Dissinfectant? hmmmmm

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  7. If my hubby want to do stuff I let him - he is obsessed with the bathroom so when he is home (he works away) it always sparkles.!!

    I am funny with my laundry too, towels definately on their own as with sheets, teatowels etc.

    I hang my laundry out in order too!

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  8. I think that's excellent advice.

    I hope your kitchen tablecloth needs to get washed later.

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  9. Haha, ok now I'm going to be really thinking about all sorts of nasty things when I next do laundry. Which actually is right now. I just put some in. Thing is, I live in an apt. building therefore, use the shared laundry room, so there's no time to fanny around with split loads other than the basic darks and lights. My only small concession is no underwear with tea towels. I don't want to be drying dishes with under-pant juice.

    Jesus, how gross was that?

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  10. [Cathy said...
    Hi. Just found you through Cougar Tales. Love your blog, very honest and funny!
    That's some crazy laundry sorting skills you've got! And some great advice about housework...I need to follow that rule better.

    @Cathy! So glad u found your way to the pantry! Thank you for you kind words!


    [Vodka Logic said...
    That is funny, I wish we had a pantry ;)
    As for laundry, it all gets crammed into the machine, what ever. lol. xx]

    @Vodka Logic - hmmm... in the absence of a pantry, maybe a kitchen table will do??


    [otin said...
    I thought that if you mixed a red load and a white load, that is how you would get a pink load!? LOL!]

    Otin, I think you may be right & I'm afraid to find out!!!

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  11. [Green-Eyed Momster said...
    I love your posts! The last time I let my Hubby do the laundry, I looked in the washer and everything, and I mean EVERYTHING was packed in there so tight it wasn't even moving....That was the last time he did the laundry. I wash pinks with the whites and if I'm almost done doing the laundry and there is one white sock and the load is a dark or jeans load....I throw it in with the darks. I hope I didn't cause you to have a heart attack. I just want the laundry basket to be empty, even if it's for one second.
    I wash our jammies with our sheets and that's it! Nothing else! Hugs!!]

    @Green Eyed Momster - I know what you mean... I always feel great shoving the laundry that we wore yesterday into the machine -that happens like 1x a year. But before that load is folded....


    [Sparkly Tiara said...
    Classic! I also love how you tackle the Laundry Mountain together - very sweet.
    I'm a bit picky with my loads as well, but you win. Hands down. I never even THOUGHT of the sheets vs. tablecloth dilemma.
    But, then again, I don't use tablecloths...

    @Sparkly Tiara - Back when our table looked better, I didn't use tablecloths much either. Now that it is all scratched up, I try to hide it!


    [Atlanta said...
    Im right there with you on the letting them do it their way. The second you say something is when they STOP doing it. And then your screwed and doing it all yourself.
    Oh and I do SOME of the crazy things you do with laundry, but Im slightly less nutty about it! lol Just sayin. Like sheets are washed with only sheets, towels with towels. That sort of thing.
    And I dont have a table cloth, so what then? Dissinfectant? hmmmmm]

    @ATlanta - yeah, just a little dissinfectant. Go for it, girl!

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  12. @Amanda - I think it is wonderful that you hubby LIKES to clean the bathroom.

    @Sara - not yet. Sick kid last night -had to save it for the bedroom!

    @Vegetable Assassin - now your neighbors will be wondering why you're laughing as you fill those washers!!! Exactly! The whole tea towel & undies is the same to me as table linens & sheets.

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  13. You would hate me I sort but by colors only! Has far as the table ummm pantry sounds like more fun!

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  14. I totally sort everything pretty much exactly the same way you do. I like to wash Lorelli's clothes by themselves because I don't want my grown up clothes getting mixed with her clothes. But now that she only wears one outfit a day and I am still wearing 2-3 her laundry gets mixed with mine. I def have a reds load (but my red includes pink, orange, and light purple) and blue/green load, a WHITE only load, jeans, towels (sorted by room), sheets, ETC ETC ad infinitum. This could be why it takes FOREVER to wash laundry. And why I put it off for so long. But, I love empty laundry baskets. They are great.

    PS - Just found your blog. Went all the way back and read it from the beginning. May start using some of your tips in my relationship even though I am SO not married yet.

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  15. I'm a color sorter. With 7 kids I can't have too many catergories and sub catergories or I'd never got done. I already go to the laundromat so I can do 7-8 loads at ONCE and be done. Sweets and I haven't done the table yet...hmmm But we finally did get it in every room of the house (oh,and the front porch).

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  16. I am the same way with doing the laundry...I huff and puff...but secretly I like it. And, the best part is that my hubby has to fold. But, he usually waits a week and then everything is wrinkled. I love it when he asks if I can rewash it so it is not wrinkled. Yeah right!
    - Cougs
    www.cougar-tales.blogspot.com

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  17. @Frau - you're right, it is!

    @PHST - me too!

    @Charisse Thank you SO MUCH! I can't believe you went back to the beginning (I have a tear in my eye!) I'm thrilled that some of my tips gave you some ideas! Go for it!!

    @Martie - I HEART you! 7 kids + every room + the front porch! Now that's what I'm talking about! (May I come knocking on your blog if I need a guest blogger one day?)

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  18. Ok you made me feel better about my sorting. My first husband was the picky one and I could never do anything right - now I find myself doing the best I can to not nitpick with new hubby.

    Still laughing about sheets and tableclothes - I have to admit falling for the same ick factor - although the reason you gave wasn't icky *wink*

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  19. @Cougs - William and I don't mind the washing or even the folding, but we are both slow about getting the laundry put away!!

    @Joanne - so your laundry habits have changed? Maybe there's hope for me yet!!!

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  20. I don't like laundry. I do it during the week when I am away (it sits in a basket until I wear/ use them again). I suppose that if I also did it at home, my wife and I could make it interesting. Great post, Lynn!

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  21. LMAO! Great post! I on the other hand throw all my shit in the same load...

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  22. Lynn not to take away from the fun - but I noticed you are an ICU nurse. Well my beloved first husband spent his final six weeks of life in an ICU unit ( you and yours have all my respect and more). During his entire hospital stay I did a lot of learning about what is important in life.

    I think s3xinthepantry - is what is important - not a red shirt with a black shirt being washed together.

    Now back to your regular scheduled program!!

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  23. Joanne - thank you for the kind words. Acutally, I work prn - so I go on call where needed. It is the families I get to know in ICU that stick with me the most. My heart goes out to you on the loss of your first husband. You are so right about laundry and life and love!

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  24. Mr. Man - just keep celebrating those weekends, laundry or no laundry!

    Life, Love and Lola - I forgive you! (Hey, you're not washing any of my things!) thanks for commenting!

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  25. Don't cringe - but I don't sort any of my laundry. Whites, darks, colors... all in the same load. Laundry gets expensive, yo.

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  26. I walked down to the basement today to check on the laundry. The machine was full of water. Not clothes. I started it up and forgot to put the clothes in there. I left the lid open so it didn't waste any water by ringing and rinsing out NOTHING! But Jeez! What was I thinking??

    When I discovered it I quickly covered up my ADD act and threw in JUST whites. That much I can handle.

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  27. Some things just aren't meant to be washed together, even if they are getting clean in the end! I totally get ya.

    And so true about letting them do it their own way...Mr.P tells me to do it himself if I try to show him exactly how he should be doing it...but I have trained him in the washing...after ruining my fav new top (that I only got to wear once!) by washing it with a red! dress he will never forget the lesson he learned that day!

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  28. @Badass Geek -I hear ya; laundry is expensive!

    @AmyMusings - glad you left the lid up, otherwise you would have been washing your washing machine!

    @Mrs. P....awe....at least he tried!

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  29. I'm thinking that if you did it on the tablecloth you could wash it with the sheets just that once, no? No?

    And wow... how do you have enough laundry to do that? I do laundry only when the washer fills up, which means I do only lights and darks ... not even whites separately. But I have a total system for drying. And don't mess with my system.

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  30. Man, I'm weird about laundry too. But I AGREE! And be thankful!! :) If he's willing to clean, let him do it his way. If you try to tell him he's not doing it right, he'll likely choose not to do it at all.

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  31. Never tried that. the wife isnt the most adventurous one. But I can tell you that under the Christmas tree has been checked off the list.

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  32. Michelle - I have 3 kids and a husband who runs marathons. We are every detergent makers dream come true.

    Foxy - yes!

    Chris - under the Christmas tree, that's so romantic (and adventurous!)

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  33. LOL Too funny!!

    My laundry isn't that sorted. It's good enough that it actually gets done. :0P

    Hmmm, wish we had a pantry we could 'do it' in. Hahaha!!

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  34. Lynn... you are the BEST!! You make me laugh SO hard. I used to be SO anal-retentive about the way I did things. Then I couldn't do things anymore, and HAD to give up control. Now I just can't watch how other people do them. I am still able to do some laundry with help, and it drives The Hubs nuts!
    Yeah, the kitchen table is really NOT that comfy... that's why we have a table in the laundry room!

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  35. I want a pantry!

    I'm anal retentive about sorting the laundry, too. Nothing else, just sorting the laundry. No wonder I have no volunteers to help me do this chore, especially the hubby!

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