Thursday, October 22, 2009

What if?

What if your loved one just isn’t all that into being passionate anymore?
This is the #1 question sent to my inbox.

I have some ideas; but I want to start out by staying I’m not an expert on relationships or a doctor or anything. I started this blog to share ideas for passion in the midst of every day busy life (especially for parents). Because I think William and I are pretty lucky and have come up with some great ideas and often when I get to talkin’ with the girls they say “I never thought of that” and “you should write a book”

1. Do you already know what the problem is? Because often people will complain about something (my husband doesn’t want to have sex) and say they don’t know what the problem is, when they already know what the problem is. Do you? Come on, let’s hear it… have you done any of the following:
a. Insult your loved ones body?
b. Insult his / her love making skills?
c. Commented on his / her weight, body odor, or breath?
d. Have you been the one saying “no” and now that you want a little, you love may be retaliating?
e. Have you two been fighting about anything else?

Because, if you know the answer to any of the above….then you know how to solve this little issue without my tips, right?

For the rest of you, read on:

1. Start with something else. Sure you want to jump in the sack. Your love has been putting on the breaks or avoiding it. Start by connecting in some other way. Go for a walk. Hang out together. If you are having a very difficult time getting your loved ones attention (she blogs too much? He’s gaming all the time?) stop whatever you do and join in with what your love is doing.

2. Compliments. Not insincere fast ‘hey baby, u hot, let’s get it on!’ But real and true telling of what you love about your love. Say it.

3. Believe what s/he says. Even if you think it’s a cop-out. If she says she has no time because of work, laundry, dishes, homework…HELP get that stuff done. If he says he has a headache…buy his favorite pain killer, research headaches, check and see if he needs to see his doctor.

4. Be willing to indulge your partner. Think about what s/he is saying ‘no’ to and what it would take to turn that ‘no’ into a ‘yes’

5. Share memories. Especially steamy sexy fun memories. “Hey remember that time…. I really loved that.”

And, saving the best for last, you could try this:

Wait for your love to get in the shower
Wait a half a minute so you know that the water is just right
Your love is sudsy and soapy
And then walk into the bathroom
Lock the door to keep the critters out
Open the shower curtain or shower door
Wait for the look of surprise on your loved ones face
And then
Quickly move your eyes to stare at their body
Keep staring and say
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were in here,” and keep staring in a complimentary way. And then say, “You look (fill in the blank with what your love would want to hear). I’m going to be thinking of you all day.”
And then let the shower curtain fall (or close the shower door) and walk away.
Don’t go too far, I’m hoping that your love will call you back and invite you in the shower!


  1. Great the shower scene.

  2. Wow, I don't live with my boyfriend, but that got me a little worked up.

  3. I really love your blog. Your posts are always so full of useful information. I love being in the shower.....


  4. I LOVE the shower trick....I'm so using that!

  5. I always pop my head in the shower and take a good long took at my wife. I always make sure I am there long enough for her to see me looking at her-not creepy looking but in an admiring way. I then smile, tell her she is hot and leave. Its good for her..... and for me.

  6. I love it when my husband has a shower with me...

    Thanks for sharing!

  7. Dang! Lynn, I had to stop eating my nachos to finish reading this.You know your writing is good when a man puts his plate down!

  8. I shoulda known my blog readers would be shower people. You guys got it going on.

    Cathy glad your're going to try it

    Chris, sounds like you found a great way to start the day.

    Mr. Man - nachos, really? That is a high compliment!

  9. Hmm. Now I'm regretting my long soaky bath habit...

    BTW, I found you from your comment on Cake Wrecks today, and I really enjoyed your site. Thanks!

  10. The Hubs and I do all of these things, and let me tell you they REALLY work. Hubby is 24 years older than me and is 67 years old and has NO problem with "showing" his love for me.
    I am a VERY lucky woman!! :-)

  11. love the shower idea. i seriously hate my husband so much of the time and look forward to a moment where i want to be with him because of feelings i have for him rather than just acting as each others scratching posts. he reads my blog and that is great except i cannot bitch about him there. aren't you glad i chose this comment box to unleash. he is a great man and simultaneously just a terrible partner at times. sorry. TMI