Thursday, October 15, 2009

CAUTION: Don’t try this at a hotel

This may have been our most expensive s3xcapade, so far!

Years ago when Cassie was a baby and the boys were about 3 & 6, we moved.

It was a big move. I ended up in the new town with the kids weeks before William. We were holed up in a cheap hotel doing fun things like school registration and vehicle registration and trying not to lose my mind living with three kids in a hotel room, when William surprised me with a weekend visit. Surprise!

There was barely enough room for me and the kids in that room. And when they were sleeping, there was no way we could….you know.

So, off to the bathroom (one of our favorite places anyway). But we didn’t pick the shower or go for sink s3x. No, we made the mistake of reclining on the throne together.

All was well in the world, until William felt a pinch on his butt. Next there was a hard plastic snap . When we were able to inspect the surroundings we found the toilet seat was not as strong as our home model.

The lid was broken completely off.

Despite the butt pinch and the plastic snap , we had no complaints. The kids didn’t wake up. We were together for a weekend. Everything was perfect.

When we checked out, we admitted the damage. “The lid to the toilet seat came off. We’re responsible. We need to pay for it.”

This required the attention of a manager. He had to consult his list. We weren’t worried. It was a cheap-o toilet seat. It couldn’t cost much, right?

Manager: I’ll add the $65.00 to your bill

Us: ?! What ?!

William: That is not a $65.00 toilet seat. I could get a toilet seat down the road at home-fix-it-store.

Manager: They’re special, to fit on our toilets. You can only get them through one supplier.

I felt myself get tense, clenched my jaws, try to think of something to say ...

William said, “No problem” to the manager, like we go around paying damages to hotel rooms all the time. And he nudged me and said, “It was worth it.”


  1. Hahaha, awesome story! But sixty five bucks, really???? Jesus.

    You know hotels are one thing but I always wondered how people managed it in PLANE toilets. I'm an average sized person and I'm five foot six and I can't even imagine getting jiggy in one of those things in any comfortable manner.

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  3. Very entertaining story. I don't know about it being worth $65 though. A special toilet seat my butt!

  4. What a sweet thing for your Hubby to say! Awwww! That's true love! Good thing you didn't go for the sink sex, you might have ripped it off the wall and it was probably a one of a kind sink!! ;)


  5. I didn't know there was a toliet seat that could cost that much, at least you guys felt it was worth it, I'm sure I would have at that point.

  6. Awww! Great story! I thought for sure there was going to be some sort of flood involved...Glad there wasn't!

  7. Hilarious! Crazy price for a toilet seat but what a great story!

  8. That guy was a total sleezebag. I had to interview a prominent architect for a magazine article during a LOUD party for a reception in his honor for a house he designed, and people kept coming up and interrupting us so I finally grabbed his arm and threw us in the bathroom and locked the door, and proceeded to get my article while he sat on the bidet and I sat on the toilet ... thankfully he got a kick out of it....but nothing kinky went on!!

  9. $65 for a toilet seat? Sounds like they may have the same supplier for mundane and normally-cheap supplies as the Pentagon.

  10. Hotel room 110 dollars
    Toilet seat 65 dollars
    not waking the kids when you orgasm....priceless!! LMFAO!!!

  11. That's a good man you got there. And I'm now tempted to replace my toilet seats with only the highest of quality. Just in case.

  12. Such a cute story. I love the nudge at the end.

  13. Awesome story..and worth the $65 I would say

  14. I think I should have taken a nap today - I'm so out of it I couldn't figure out why you both were on the toilet seat and then...oooohhhhhhh!!! That's funny!

  15. Hysterical! How did he get the plastic splinter out? I commend you for doing the honorable thing and fessing up!
    - Cougs

  16. Gives a new meaning to the phrase, "Johnny on the Spot," huh? Thanks for the great giggle...

  17. LOVE this story!! I agree with your hubster... completely worth it. Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog.


  18. how funny!! Thanks for visiting from SITS, am now following!!

  19. I adore your husband's attitude about the experience. I'm sure it was completely worth it to both of you.