Shhhhh….. NOT!

I got this tip from my mom when Ashton was a newborn. He was sound asleep taking a nap and Mom said, “Get the vacuum and vacuum his room.”

?!

“Really, I did it for all my kids and it works.”

“Works?”

“They’ll sleep through anything.”

And the fact is, I slept through a fire alarm in the college dorms and the alarm was right outside my door. I often sleep through my alarm or work the sound of it into my dream and keep on sleeping. Even motion doesn’t faze me. If I’m in a car for awhile, I’m sound asleep.

So, I tried it. I’m not one to clean unless I really MUST. But the whole idea of being quiet and tiptoeing around a sleeping baby never existed in our house. You know the loud ‘eeeeerrrrk’ sound that packing tape makes? That was Brice’s lullaby tunes. We were moving when he was about three months old. Packing boxes in his room as he dreamed away.

All three of my kids are really good sleepers. Yeah, often they don’t want to sleep at night (topic for another post, this one is about babies) but once asleep noise won’t wake them!

Thanks, Mom!

Should I be paranoid?

I have a family member who is making me semi paranoid

about blogging

should I change everything and start using a pseudonym?

avoid using William’s name or give him a cute nickname?

call my kids boy1, boy2, and little girl?

Actually, I love blogs where all the family members have cool names. But I can’t think of anything better than Lynn, William, Ashton, Brice and Cassidy (or Cassy – real original nickname, right?)

This family member (okay, it’s my brother-in-law) See? Did you see that? I can’t do mysterious!

My brother-in-law claims it could be damaging to my children someday if they google my name and discover that I actually have s3x with their father in the pantry of all places (and many other places).

But here’s my thinking. I’ve been on the internet for eons --- really, my first email with yahoo had a 4 digit numeric password --- and I have NEVER googled my mother’s name.

Have you?

Do it right now. Google your mother’s name and see if it comes back with anything scandalous. And PLEASE let me know!

A key!

William went cleaning crazy over the long weekend. I’m all for making the kids clean their rooms but William went all out FlyLady clean-o-rama. Cabinets were emptied, cupboards were bared, furniture was pushed from one side of the room to the other.

He pulled the sofa cushions off and carried them into another room. and thus humiliated me into finding a vacuum / shovel and bucket to clean beneath

But when much was tossed and all was cleaned up, we scored big.
I found a key and there is only one door that was missing a key. Our little old house has doors with rusty locks that still use removable keys on the inside doors. OUR BEDROOM

We now have a key to our bedroom!

So, even though we’ve taught our kids this it doesn't always work.

We will no longer be fearful of situations like this

That first kiss of the day

The first thing I want to do in the morning is kiss William

What do you guys do about morning breath?

William swears he doesn’t care / barely even notices

Most of the time I don’t either but there are times I want to chug some mouthwash.

Okay, I’m admitting on a public blog what a lazy person I am…the bathroom is just across the hall from our bedroom. If I roll on top of William (yeah, right?) and exit on his side of the bed, I’d only have to walk about 25 feet.

Still, I want to kiss. I don’t want to stop and gargle.

Mouthwash next to the bed? Then what? Swallow it? Spit it out into a bowl or a stylish spittoon?

What about those little mouth freshener papers? I like those, but are they strong enough for morning breath?

Gum?

Mouth spray?

Any suggestions?

Don’t cry over spilt kool aid

This week 4 of my clients blamed their health condition on their spouse. Another lady just kept ranting on and on about her husband who placed a wrench on the mantle when she ‘had decorated it up really nice.’ She told me that wrench on the mantle was making her consider a divorce. She said, “He didn’t even notice how mad I was when he set that wrench there!” They’ve been married 30 years.

?!

William and I were in college when we married and some of the things he did drove me crazy too (and some things still do).

The first almost freak out was about kool aid and kitchen towels. Let’s face it $ was tight in college. We didn’t really have anything nice for our apartment until one of my grandma’s friends sent us these beautiful kitchen towels for a wedding present. I came home one day to find huge red stains on them, kool aid (yes, we were young when we were married).

And, it didn’t wash out.

William response was, “It’s a towel. There is no way I’m ever going to figure out if a towel is ‘special’ or not. If it is such a treasure to you, put it somewhere else, like not in the kitchen.”

And you know what? He was right! Who cares? If the worst problem of my young marriage was kool aid spots on the towel, who gives a flying fiddlestick?

From that time on, when William continued to drive me crazy, I’d have to stop and ask myself, is this a big deal? Or is this just more kool aid?

Like when he killed one of my big house plants by planting it outside.

What is ruined towels and a dead plant to a man that makes me laugh, is a great cook and (I even knew way back then) would be a great father to my kids?

So let’s use this new year to get over the small stuff

Stop getting upset about things that do not matter

But before we start, let’s get the gripes off our chest. If you want, use the comment section to get your gripes out… I’ll be the first to comment!

Love or Friendship -how do you know?

My neice asked: How do I know if a guy is a really good friend or someone I really like?

She said twice friends had crushes on her and it didn't work out because she didn't like them as much. And now she's thinks she likes someone and she doesn't want the same thing to happen again. (She doesn't know if he likes her)

I had to take myself back YEARS! But, even after all this time, I remember how gut wrenching it is. Being a teen isn't easy. HS life is confusing. These problems tie your stomach up in knots!!!

I wanted to help her be calm and also tell her the truth.

The best answer I came up with is this:

When someone is your friend, you want them to be happy, no matter what. So if your guy friend really likes another girl and they get together you are totally happy for him. If you really like someone, you are crushed to think of them with someone else -it makes your blood boil and your fists clench. So, close your eyes and think of this guy. Now imagine he's with another girl.

She did it.

Her response. "Oh, !@#* I do like him."

Turning my Princess into a Clown

Okay, I did it. Put me on the Mean Mommy List.

Cassie will not have ballet. And she will not even get to go to gymnastics. For three reasons:
1. I am mean & I won't let her (not, well not really)
2. Because Brice won't go to ballet or gymnastics with her (not, well sort of, but not really)
3. Because I want her (and Brice) to take a class at the same time that Ashton has Trumpet lessons so I'm not running all over the city 3 x a week to take 3 kids to 3 different things and so I can spend time making out (or more) with William (yes)

At first she really, really hated me. Because she has to learn ballet in case she wants to be a movie star.

But today was her (and Brice's) first circus class and she really liked it. "I juggled scarves and I'm going to be a little girl in the play."