tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28807706053158013042024-03-13T21:08:17.926-07:00S3XinthePantryYes I have it all - 15+ years of fun (& g8 s3x) with the man I love, a job I like, and three fairly decent kids (hey, they're not perfect)S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-79123472898492974582010-01-10T10:52:00.000-08:002010-01-10T10:58:54.771-08:00Shhhhh….. NOT!I got this tip from my mom when Ashton was a newborn. He was sound asleep taking a nap and Mom said, “Get the vacuum and vacuum his room.”<br /><br />?!<br /><br />“Really, I did it for all my kids and it works.”<br /><br />“Works?”<br /><br />“They’ll sleep through anything.”<br /><br />And the fact is, I slept through a fire alarm in the college dorms and the alarm was right outside my door. I often sleep through my alarm or work the sound of it into my dream and keep on sleeping. Even motion doesn’t faze me. If I’m in a car for awhile, I’m sound asleep.<br /><br />So, I tried it. I’m not one to clean unless I really MUST. But the whole idea of being quiet and tiptoeing around a sleeping baby never existed in our house. You know the loud ‘eeeeerrrrk’ sound that packing tape makes? That was Brice’s lullaby tunes. We were moving when he was about three months old. Packing boxes in his room as he dreamed away.<br /><br />All three of my kids are really good sleepers. Yeah, often they don’t want to sleep at night (topic for another post, this one is about babies) but once asleep noise won’t wake them!<br /><br />Thanks, Mom!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-75280350581287365032010-01-09T12:22:00.000-08:002010-01-09T12:24:28.588-08:00Should I be paranoid?I have a family member who is making me semi paranoid<br /><br />about blogging<br /><br />should I change everything and start using a pseudonym?<br /><br />avoid using William’s name or give him a cute nickname?<br /><br />call my kids boy1, boy2, and little girl?<br /><br />Actually, I love blogs where all the family members have cool names. But I can’t think of anything better than Lynn, William, Ashton, Brice and Cassidy (or Cassy – real original nickname, right?)<br /><br />This family member (okay, it’s my brother-in-law) See? Did you see that? I can’t do mysterious! <br /><br />My brother-in-law claims it could be damaging to my children someday if they google my name and discover that I actually have s3x with their father in the pantry of all places (and many other places).<br /><br />But here’s my thinking. I’ve been on the internet for eons --- really, my first email with yahoo had a 4 digit numeric password --- and I have NEVER googled my mother’s name.<br /><br />Have you?<br /><br />Do it right now. Google your mother’s name and see if it comes back with anything scandalous. And PLEASE let me know!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-72358906820465838772010-01-05T00:20:00.000-08:002010-01-05T00:22:17.259-08:00A key!William went cleaning crazy over the long weekend. I’m all for making the kids clean their rooms but William went all out FlyLady clean-o-rama. Cabinets were emptied, cupboards were bared, furniture was pushed from one side of the room to the other. <br /><br />He pulled the sofa cushions off and carried them into another room. <i> and thus humiliated me into finding a vacuum / shovel and bucket to clean beneath</i><br /><br />But when much was tossed and all was cleaned up, we scored big.<br />I found a key and there is only one door that was missing a key. Our little old house has doors with rusty locks that still use removable keys on the inside doors. <b> OUR BEDROOM</b><br /><br />We now have a key to our bedroom!<br /><br />So, even though we’ve taught our kids <a href = http://s3xinthepantry.blogspot.com/2009/11/knock-knock.html> this </a> it doesn't always work.<br /><br />We will no longer be fearful of situations like <a href = http://s3xinthepantry.blogspot.com/2009/08/knock-knock.html> this </a>S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-65808460697112745242010-01-02T13:48:00.000-08:002010-01-02T13:58:41.019-08:00That first kiss of the dayThe first thing I want to do in the morning is kiss William<br /><br />What do you guys do about morning breath?<br /><br />William swears he doesn’t care / barely even notices<br /><br />Most of the time I don’t either but there are times I want to chug some mouthwash.<br /><br />Okay, I’m admitting on a public blog what a lazy person I am…the bathroom is just across the hall from our bedroom. If I roll on top of William (yeah, right?) and exit on his side of the bed, I’d only have to walk about 25 feet.<br /><br />Still, I want to kiss. I don’t want to stop and gargle. <br /><br />Mouthwash next to the bed? Then what? Swallow it? Spit it out into a bowl or a stylish spittoon?<br /><br />What about those little mouth freshener papers? I like those, but are they strong enough for morning breath? <br /><br />Gum?<br /><br />Mouth spray?<br /><br />Any suggestions?S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-80336365688761296882010-01-01T08:20:00.000-08:002010-01-01T08:28:17.182-08:00Don’t cry over spilt kool aidThis week 4 of my clients blamed their health condition on their spouse. Another lady just kept ranting on and on about her husband who placed a wrench on the mantle when she ‘had decorated it up really nice.’ She told me that wrench on the mantle was making her consider a divorce. She said, “He didn’t even notice how mad I was when he set that wrench there!” They’ve been married 30 years. <br /><br />?!<br /><br />William and I were in college when we married and some of the things he did drove me crazy too (and some things still do). <br /><br />The first almost freak out was about kool aid and kitchen towels. Let’s face it $ was tight in college. We didn’t really have anything nice for our apartment until one of my grandma’s friends sent us these beautiful kitchen towels for a wedding present. I came home one day to find huge red stains on them, kool aid (yes, we were young when we were married). <br /><br />And, it didn’t wash out.<br /><br />William response was, “It’s a towel. There is no way I’m ever going to figure out if a towel is ‘special’ or not. If it is such a treasure to you, put it somewhere else, like not in the kitchen.”<br /><br />And you know what? He was right! Who cares? If the worst problem of my young marriage was kool aid spots on the towel, who gives a flying fiddlestick?<br /><br />From that time on, when William continued to drive me crazy, I’d have to stop and ask myself, is this a big deal? Or is this just more kool aid?<br /><br />Like when he killed one of my big house plants by planting it outside. <br /><br />What is ruined towels and a dead plant to a man that makes me laugh, is a great cook and (I even knew way back then) would be a great father to my kids?<br /><br />So let’s use this new year to get over the small stuff<br /><br />Stop getting upset about things that do not matter<br /><br />But before we start, let’s get the gripes off our chest. If you want, use the comment section to get your gripes out… I’ll be the first to comment!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-8931755370291628632009-12-19T03:03:00.000-08:002009-12-19T03:08:46.270-08:00Love or Friendship -how do you know?My neice asked: How do I know if a guy is a really good friend or someone I really like?<br /><br />She said twice friends had crushes on her and it didn't work out because she didn't like them as much. And now she's thinks she likes someone and she doesn't want the same thing to happen again. (She doesn't know if he likes her)<br /><br />I had to take myself back YEARS! But, even after all this time, I remember how gut wrenching it is. Being a teen isn't easy. HS life is confusing. These problems tie your stomach up in knots!!! <br /><br />I wanted to help her be calm and also tell her the truth.<br /><br />The best answer I came up with is this:<br /><br />When someone is your friend, you want them to be happy, no matter what. So if your guy friend really likes another girl and they get together you are totally happy for him. If you really like someone, you are crushed to think of them with someone else -it makes your blood boil and your fists clench. So, close your eyes and think of this guy. Now imagine he's with another girl.<br /><br />She did it.<br /><br />Her response. "Oh, !@#* I do like him."S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-69954091436872672792009-12-17T11:48:00.000-08:002009-12-17T11:54:51.715-08:00Turning my Princess into a ClownOkay, I did it. Put <i> me </i> on the Mean Mommy List.<br /><br />Cassie will not have ballet. And she will not even get to go to gymnastics. For three reasons:<br />1. I am mean & I won't let her (not, well not really)<br />2. Because Brice won't go to ballet or gymnastics with her (not, well sort of, but not really)<br />3. Because I want her (and Brice) to take a class at the same time that Ashton has Trumpet lessons so I'm not running all over the city 3 x a week to take 3 kids to 3 different things and so I can spend time making out (or more) with William (yes)<br /><br />At first she really, really hated me. Because she has to learn ballet in case she wants to be a movie star. <br /><br />But today was her (and Brice's) first circus class and she really liked it. "I juggled scarves and I'm going to be a little girl in the play."S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-22280073213786914732009-12-16T00:06:00.000-08:002009-12-16T00:11:22.488-08:00Justifiable Homicide Tuesday: Suzie Q’s Mom<a href="http://snickerbaraddict.blogspot.com/2009/11/justifiable-homicide-tuesday.html"><img src="http://i33.tinypic.com/mm34sl.gif"/></a><br /><br />Suzie Q, age six, was at our house during cooking time and when she had a chance to open a can of soup she said, “I’ve never opened a can by myself before.”<br /><br />My back was turned to the sink and before I could finish saying, “Wait and I’ll help you—“<br /><br />I was interrupted by a wailing “owwwwwa, owwwwwah, owwwwwahhhhh!”<br />She pulled the lid off herself and sliced into a finger.<br /><br />Comfort, pressure, call the mom.<br /><br />Guess what? No answer at Suzie Q’s home. [Can I just say right now I hate it when parents leave their six year olds to wander the neighborhood? I also hate it when kids are at my home and their parents don't know where they are and I don't know where the parents are! Grrrrr!]<br /><br />Call the mom’s cell phone.<br /><br />Me: Suzie Q’s finger is cut and you need to come get her<br /><br />The non-Mom: Ummm… will you please hold on a second?<br /><br />(pause of about 30 seconds)<br /><br />The non-Mom: I think the thing to do in this case is apply steady pressure for 10 to 20 minutes<br /><br />Me thinking –oh, did you just google ‘what to do about cuts’ on your phone while I waited?<br /><br />Me: She’s really upset. The gash is uneven. We’re applying pressure. You need to come home & get her.<br /><br />The non-Mom: Let me talk to her.<br /><br />She talked to Suzie Q AND HUNG UP without checking back in with me!!!<br /><br />Suzie Q continued to bleed despite constant pressure and elevation and even ice. I called The non-Mom after 10 minutes, after 20 minute, after 30 minutes. She came after 45 minutes. I called later to check up on Suzie Q and the non-Mom said, “It still would stop bleeding, not even for me, I ended up taking her to the clinic for stitches.” <br /><br />Again, it’s not like me to wish a kid motherless, but I kind of think poor Suzie Q already is.S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-80605881441334347232009-12-11T15:35:00.000-08:002009-12-11T15:52:22.388-08:00Happy Hour FridayI'm following <a href = http://wizardofotin.blogspot.com/> Otin's lead </a> and posting some Friday happiness.<br /><br />I'm happy that people are still reading this blog, even though I haven't posted in days!<br /><br />I'm happy that <a href = http://saraspelledwithnoh.blogspot.com> Sara without an h</a> got her <a href = http://saraspelledwithnoh.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-sexy-you-are-shut-up.html> SITS day </a><br /><br />I'm happy that <a href = http://www.dearmisterman.com/wp/> Dear Mr. Man </a> is back to blogging again<br /><br />I'm happy that all 3 of my children managed to get through their winter performances at school without falling off stage, starting a fight, or wetting their pants.<br /><br />I'm happy that I managed to stay cool during the entire performance even though William was touching me - holding my hand, rubbing my neck, tickling the inside of my arm and I really wanted to throw him on the floor and jump on top of him. but I didn't because I know it damage my kids if we were hauled out of our kids' school in handcuffs. (If only we still lived in my hometown and the performance were in my high school, I would have know a few closets we could of hid out in!)<br /><br />I'm happy that I've never ever gotten a ticket for any 'out and about' adventures (though I was caught and questioned 2x)<br /><br />I'm happy our heater is working (but sad we're not sneaking home in the middle of the day to check the heat)<br /><br />I'm happy we're going to abandon the kids at the movie theatre this weekend so we can make out in the car, go shopping, make out in the car, go shopping, make out in the car, go shopping. Okay we haven't exactly figured out what we're doing when the kids are at the movies with their grandparents (I love my inlaws!) but it will be some combination of shopping and kissing!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-6977723844610188212009-12-03T12:45:00.000-08:002009-12-03T12:57:27.086-08:00Checking the HeatNormally I would think having a heater on the fritz could work to our advantage.<br /><br />There are some seriously FUN ways to stay warm, right?<br /><br />Our heater working only half the time was just one major issue to deal with this week and I'm surprised at how we've changed from being so Thankful last week to this week of STRESSNESS. Taking showers at the gym with the yucky too strong showers that practically blow my nips across the room, don't adjust for temperature, and spray so strong my clothes hanging 4 feet away get wet...turns me into a B-!<br /><br />But yesterday something great happened. William decided to come home EARLY to make sure the heater didn't do its usual trick of shutting down hours after the repairman claims it fixed.<br /><br />And I decided to come home early because I didn't think that William would be home to check it.<br /><br />And -wonder of wonders- we were both home ALONE an hour before the kids came home from school. The heater had died again. There was no hot water. <br /><br />Who knew a heating fail could be so wonderful??<br /><br />Before calling the repairman, we enjoyed some private time at home! There is just something great about s3x in the early afternoon!!! <br /><br />BTW heater is fixed as of this morning....but I think we should still find time to come home and "check the heat" once in awhile, right?S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-1871742732411590442009-11-26T11:59:00.000-08:002009-11-26T12:07:05.068-08:00Speaking of ThankingThere I was talking with my mil and fil about s3x.<br /><br />We discussed the time that she pulled him into "one of those shops" "just to look around"<br /><br />Somewhere in the conversation my mil said, "I don't thank"<br />I didn't understand.<br />She said, "I'm not a thanker"<br /><br />I clarified - it was a 'th' not an 's'<br /><br />Then I figured it out. She doesn't say "thank you" afterwards.<br /><br />I think that I am a thanker, not every time, not in any sort of dramatic way but sometimes in a playful way. But whenever I say it, I mean it every time.<br /><br />Still, it's not like we have a rule or any expectation of what will be said before, during, and after. <br /><br />I found her comments something to think about. <br /><br />The way she said she was a NOT a thanker made me feel a little bit embarrassed to admit that I was, until I realized my s3x partner is her son and every mother wants her son to be well 'thanked' right? So I gave William his praise and told her I'm a thanker.<br /><br />I have a lot to be thankful for today!!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-79053508335247680582009-11-25T13:51:00.000-08:002009-11-25T13:54:23.998-08:00No More Food WarsWant a more peaceful home? Stop fighting about food. <br /><br />Really! If your toddler won’t eat, don’t worry. If you’re preschoolers being picky about food, stop stressing. If your elementary school kid seems to need seconds (or thirds) for a week, don’t sweat it. If your teenager stops eating breakfast, just chill.<br /><br />We want our kids to eat healthy and grow strong. But sometimes they know better than we do. I often tell parents, “Don’t force your child to eat something unless you really want to clean if off the floor when it comes back up.”<br /><br />In my opinion, respecting a child’s eating preferences goes along with respecting themselves and their bodies. It is taking a step back and saying, “you are in control of you and no one is allowed to force you to do anything.”<br /><br />Did I just say, cook you child whatever he wants to eat for every meal? No<br />Did I say let your child starve? No<br />Did I say I think it is totally cool if your kid will only eat red food for a year? Double No.<br /><br />Of course medical issues need to be taken up with your pediatrician. If your infant isn’t eating enough. If your toddler had failure to thrive. If your pre-school child has food aversions. If your school child has diabetes or autism or allergies. If your teenager is heading for anorexia. All of this must be taken into account. <br /><br />But for the most part, most of the time, kids’ food preference and the amount of food that they eat varies. A toddler may not be able to tell you that they don’t feel well. But you’ll sure find out if you force a bunch of food down their throat. <br /><br />The best advice I have is: <br />1. Offer a wide range of healthy foods and snacks through the day<br />2. Let kids be involved in the food preparations <br />(when they get older they’ll cook for you, how cool is that?) <br />3. Make mealtimes / snack times fun <br />4. Don’t go to battle over what they chose to eat or not eat. <br /><br />ENJOY!!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-27952990364272757712009-11-24T12:39:00.000-08:002009-11-24T12:57:59.739-08:00Justifiable Homicide Tuesday - Movie Lady<a href="http://snickerbaraddict.blogspot.com/2009/11/justifiable-homicide-tuesday.html"><img src="http://i33.tinypic.com/mm34sl.gif"/></a><br /><br />This feature was started by <a href = http://snickerbaraddict.blogspot.com/> Vodka Logic</a><br /><br />I was going to write another post <a href = http://s3xinthepantry.blogspot.com/2009/11/justiiable-homcide-tuesday-on-wednesday.html>like this one</a> about some unparents I know, but instead I'm going to rant about the lady who sat one row behind us on Saturday.<br /><br />It was a kids movie. But hey, that doesn't mean William and I can't kiss a little -right? Our kids were a few seats away from us . . . looking at the screne.<br /><br />Well kiss number one, she cleared her throat. When we didn't stop she said, "Please, give me a break." In this kind of voice said she might vomit. <br /><br />Next kiss she sighed and siad, "This is a <i>children's</i> movie." And I have to say that she was drawing more attention to us than we were to ourselves.<br /><br />Okay, I know everyone doesn't stop and watch people kiss with a big grin on their face like I do. But we were in a dark movie theatre. We weren't trying to put on a show. <b> She </b> made it a big deal.<br /><br />Really!<br /><br />We try to sit in the crying room - this place didn't have one. Or the back row. It was full.<br /><br />Still did she have to zero in on us? With every kiss? And make a big loudmouth comment? <br /><br />Couldn't she do what 99% of the rest of th people in the room were doing and look up at the movie?<br /><br />We varied the timing and lenght of our kissing. And, okay I'll admit it, a few times I started kissing William to see what she would say next. <br /><br />She was a pain. The worst ever (well, except that time we were stopped by a police officer, but that's a different post).<br /><br />I'm sure she thinks we were out of line.<br /><br />What do you think??S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-47627683643234531272009-11-23T11:13:00.000-08:002009-11-23T11:59:07.525-08:00knock knock!If you have a toddler in your home, this is the perfect time to teach them to knock on closed doors. A wonderful thing about toddlers is that they like to copy what you do. So start knocking.<br /><br />Knock on the front door when you come home before getting out your key.<br /><br />Knock on their bedroom door before you take them in for naptime / nighttime<br /><br />Knock on the bathroom door before bath time<br /><br />Especially teach your toddler to knock on mommy and daddy’s door – on ALL bedroom doors<br /><br />And keep playing and practicing and let’s hope this good habit will last a lifetime!!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-90063754528932083262009-11-21T00:38:00.000-08:002009-11-21T00:46:31.491-08:00Don’t make a messWhen you have preschoolers in the house, they notice things. <br /><br />This is the age when something out of context triggers their interest. It is not the greatest trait when busy parents are trying to get a little action whenever and wherever they can.<br /><br />So, busy parents, I warn you. Learn from my mistakes! If you’re going to have a stripfest s3x time in the living room, try you best to wake up before your preschooler(s). If you don’t and you hear the phone ring, really really try to pick up the phone before your four-year-old.<br /><br />If you do, you may prevent your son from telling your parents: No I don’t know where Mommy is, but her and Daddy’s clothes were all over the living room floor. Oh, there they are sleeping on the sofa.<br /><br />This happened years ago and is another one of my favorite Brice memories. He pestered me for a whole day why he has to pick up things off the floor in his room, but <i> we </i> threw our clothes on the floor.<br /><br />PS thank god my mom is soooo cool!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-81741413899857293452009-11-18T12:06:00.001-08:002009-11-18T12:24:30.464-08:00Justifiable-Homcide-Tuesday on Wednesday - Lynn Gone Mad!<a href="http://snickerbaraddict.blogspot.com/2009/11/justifiable-homicide-tuesday.html"><img src="http://i33.tinypic.com/mm34sl.gif"/></a><br /><br />I've never got into the "do this thing on a certain day" blog schedules, because I'm not that organized. <br /><br />But when I noticed <a href = http://snickerbaraddict.blogspot.com>Vodka Logic's</a> Justifiable Homicide feature I began looking forward to Tuesday. Because a whole lotta parents who been leaving their kids running wild(actually hanging at my house) have been makin' me wanna bust somethin'<br /><br />For those of you who are wondering this is NOT a guest blogger - just Lynn gone mad! Really mad!<br /><br />I know my blog is all about lovin' & stuff. But some people! And there's enough going on to give me Justifiable Homicide posts for the whole rest of the year! So, even though I missed yesterday. I've gotta let off some steam. <br /><br />Here's my top pick. I'd never wanna make a kid an orphan, but these two fools are on the top of my list: The parents of Little Joe<br /><br />Little Joe is 10 years old. He hangs out at our house all the time. William and I are actually fine with a bunch of kids being over our house all the time. The kids aren't any problem -it's their parents!<br /><br />Little Joe's parents are splitting up. I have no problem with that. Lots of folks split up.<br /><br />But they are still living together<br />and stepping out on each other<br />and fighting night and day with each other.<br /><br />Little Joe dropped by right when we're heading out and I say, "Little Joe, run ask your parents if you can come with us." He takes off down the street and zooms back: "My Mom says I can go, but my Dad says I can't."<br /><br />It's like that for EVERYTHING! What's a kid supposed to do? I had to leave him. Sorry, but I'm not taking a kid in my car without their parents' permission (especially these parents).<br /><br />So last weekend, he's over our house late and William's asleep, so I walk Little Joe home. It's only a block but I'm not letting a kid leave my house without making sure he is home safe. We get to his driveway and I tell him I wanna make sure he's in the house. He surprises me by pulling out his key.<br /><br />It's 10:45 on a Friday night!<br /><br />Remember, he's TEN YEARS OLD!!!<br /><br />So I ask Little Joe, where's your Ma?<br />Answer: With her boyfriend.<br /><br />Where's you Dad?<br />At his girlfriends'.<br /><br />Who is watching you?<br />My brother. <br /><br />Sigh of relief. His brother is almost 17.<br /><br />Is he at home?<br />No, he's over at his girlfriend's. He always comes home by midnight though.<br /><br />I call his brother to come back home. <br /><br />But I really want to call his mom and his dad and tell them - ACT LIKE GROWN UPS!!!<br /><br />Instead I'm offering them up for my first post - swim with the fishes you unmom & undad!<br /><br />(Is it really weird that it feels so good to post this?)S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-88043906401457265872009-11-11T02:29:00.000-08:002009-11-11T02:30:13.350-08:00KissfestIt’s time to start a kissfest<br /><br />I mean real live worldwide massive kiss craziness<br /><br />Whoever it is that you kiss<br /><br />Kiss them more<br /><br />Kiss them longer<br /><br />Kiss them when they least expect it<br /><br />Kiss them <i> where </i> they least expect it<br /><br />What makes a kiss memorable? The kiss itself? The place? Witnesses?<br /><br />Here’s a favorite kiss memory of mine:<br /><br />William and I were friends before we got together. I was in his dorm room and somehow ended up in his arms. He made his move by kissing me on the forehead. I looked at him and knew we were going to kiss. So I said, “stand up.” (how romantic, right? Yes I was bossy even then so he knew what he was getting into from the start.) But William didn’t ask questions he just stood up and so did I and we had this amazing and really long mushy kiss about halfway through the kiss (how do you tell with a kiss that long anyway?) the door to the room opened and in walked his roommate and one of my ex boyfriends. William didn’t stop kissing and neither did I.<br /><br />Share a kiss memory in the comments section if you like.S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-61844584187499145602009-11-08T13:04:00.000-08:002009-11-08T13:07:19.406-08:00The car washI nominate the car wash -it was my number one make-out spot today. <br /><br />Don’t you love it? All dark and sudsy, the sounds of the water, the pounding and shaking of the car as those scrubbers go at the tires, dark and discrete when the big floppy brushes come down...perfect!<br /><br />Ahhh, I love a little kissing in the car wash!<br /><br />What place would you nominate?S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-51171883262103293452009-11-02T11:17:00.000-08:002009-11-02T11:25:14.134-08:00Not now, Mommy & Daddy R s3xtingOOPS!<br /><br />My middle monster (Brice) ran off without checking with me. I was fuming. I didn’t want to be the Mom calling around for my kid. (As you know we like having the entire neighborhood and their pets at our place). <br /><br />I was considering how much time to give him & where to start looking when my phone beeped that message came in.<br /><br />Ashton (my 12 yo), closest to my phone, reaches for it<br /><br />Me: You might not want to read that…<br /><br />Ashton: Maybe it’s from Brice<br /><br />(I see him push the button to show messages)<br /><br />Me: Maybe it’s from Daddy<br /><br />Ashton: So?<br /><br />Me: Maybe he’s writing something s3xy.<br /><br />Ashton: (not quite believing me, but reads anyway) Gross!<br /><br />Well, he can’t say I didn’t warn him!<br /><br />And before the Ashton recovered, Brice was back home!<br /><br />There are a lot of s3xting definitions on the web. In case you are wondering how far we go:<br /><br />Definition 1: Sending text messages that are s3xy (YES!)<br /><br />Definition 2: Sending a message with the hopes of having a s3xual encounter later (Yes, Yes!)<br /><br />Definition 3: Sending nude or semi-nude photos (A GREAT BIG NO!!!)S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-59006533093838352292009-11-01T01:55:00.000-07:002009-11-01T01:58:36.270-07:00What is with some people?Really! I really want to know what is with some people! Do I have a brightly lit neon sign pointing to my house from miles around that says “Sucker Lives Here” or “Lynn’s house 2 miles on the left, bring your children, bring your injured, your weary, your <b> RATS </b>!”<br /><br />I’ll leave the injured, neglected, and weary for another post.<br /><br />Today I’m blogging about the rats!<br /><br />We had our annual Halloween party. This is a party for kids. And it’s turned into something big. People don’t wait for invitations any more, they call up a few weeks ahead of time to make sure we’re having it. Some of the regular kids just assume they will spend the night. <br /><br />We love costumes, trick or treating, pouring healthy pumpkin stew down their throats and some fruit to counteract the candy. And listening to them laugh and play until after midnight.<br /><br />We have it down to a science.<br /><br />This year we got the craziest calls:<br />Some we’re used to like:<br />Can I bring my younger (sister / brother(s)) or can I bring my older (sister / brother(s))<br />Can you pick up our kid for the party/?<br />Can you drive our kid home from the party –Halloween night or the next day?<br /><br />But this year we got two calls to see if we had an extra costume – the answer is YES<br />Many calls to see if we would do the make-up – YES again<br /><br />One crazy person who asked me if I would let her three kids bring their dog. “He’s little” and “He gets so worked up on Halloween night” (now that I think of it, he probably gets afraid and pees in their house) and “We have an <i> adult </I> party to attend.”<br /><br />NO!! [Are you proud of me? I actually said, “No!”] <br /><br />Because, hmmm…let me think, I have more than a dozen kids to worry about (three of them are yours), my own dog to consider, and YOUR DOG IS NOT MY PROBLEM!!<br /><br />Geez! <br /><br />And I thought that would be the strangest event of the night. Until I was out picking up one of our guests and returned home to find a couple of boys were dropped off while I was away. They had their costumes, their sleeping bags, and their pet rats. Yes, two boys and three live rats. <br /><br />I love William. I love William. Yes, I love William. “But why did you let them bring the rats?”<br /><br />“Well, it’s Halloween,” he said.<br /><br />Yeah. It’s Halloween.S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-28399654913957789862009-10-27T13:23:00.000-07:002009-10-27T13:25:40.469-07:00What have I been saying?Here is a wall street journal article about titles <a href = http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052748704500604574485351638147312-lMyQjAxMDA5MDIwNjEyNDYyWj.html> Housework pays off between the sheets </a><br /><br />I would elaborate but after reading the article my house could use a little dusting!S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-49169344071021478752009-10-22T16:20:00.000-07:002009-10-22T16:28:10.532-07:00What if?What if your loved one just isn’t all that into being passionate anymore?<br />This is the #1 question sent to my inbox.<br /><br />I have some ideas; but I want to start out by staying I’m not an expert on relationships or a doctor or anything. I started this blog to share ideas for passion in the midst of every day busy life (especially for parents). Because I think William and I are pretty lucky and have come up with some great ideas and often when I get to talkin’ with the girls they say “I never thought of that” and “you should write a book”<br /><br />Question:<br />1. Do you already know what the problem is? Because often people will complain about something (my husband doesn’t want to have sex) and say they don’t know what the problem is, when they already know what the problem is. Do you? Come on, let’s hear it… have you done any of the following:<br />a. Insult your loved ones body?<br />b. Insult his / her love making skills?<br />c. Commented on his / her weight, body odor, or breath?<br />d. Have you been the one saying “no” and now that you want a little, you love may be retaliating?<br />e. Have you two been fighting about anything else?<br /><br />Because, if you know the answer to any of the above….then you know how to solve this little issue without my tips, right?<br /><br />For the rest of you, read on:<br /><br />Tips<br />1. Start with something else. Sure you want to jump in the sack. Your love has been putting on the breaks or avoiding it. Start by connecting in some other way. Go for a walk. Hang out together. If you are having a very difficult time getting your loved ones attention (she blogs too much? He’s gaming all the time?) stop whatever you do and join in with what your love is doing.<br /><br />2. Compliments. Not insincere fast ‘hey baby, u hot, let’s get it on!’ But real and true telling of what you love about your love. Say it. <br /><br />3. Believe what s/he says. Even if you think it’s a cop-out. If she says she has no time because of work, laundry, dishes, homework…HELP get that stuff done. If he says he has a headache…buy his favorite pain killer, research headaches, check and see if he needs to see his doctor. <br /><br />4. Be willing to indulge your partner. Think about what s/he is saying ‘no’ to and what it would take to turn that ‘no’ into a ‘yes’ <br /><br />5. Share memories. Especially steamy sexy fun memories. “Hey remember that time…. I really loved that.”<br /><br />And, saving the best for last, you could try this:<br /><br /><em>The SHOWER TRICK<br />Wait for your love to get in the shower<br />Wait a half a minute so you know that the water is just right<br />Your love is sudsy and soapy<br />And then walk into the bathroom<br />Lock the door to keep the critters out <br />Open the shower curtain or shower door<br />Wait for the look of surprise on your loved ones face <br />And then <br />Quickly move your eyes to stare at their body<br />Keep staring and say<br />“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were in here,” and keep staring in a complimentary way. And then say, “You look (fill in the blank with what your love would want to hear). I’m going to be thinking of you all day.” <br />And then let the shower curtain fall (or close the shower door) and walk away. <br />Don’t go too far, I’m hoping that your love will call you back and invite you in the shower!</em>S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-80741501877634366872009-10-20T03:28:00.000-07:002009-10-20T03:32:16.604-07:00A girl, A boy, and a magazineI kind of feel like my world is upside down right now<br /><br /><strong>The girl</strong><br /><br />Yesterday I spent some time with my 13 yo niece. I haven’t seen her since summer and I was not prepared for the shock that met my eyes: black eye liner, eye shadow, slightly padded bra and when she bent over –yeah you guessed it – T-bars.<br /><br />First off, I am all for style and letting kids express themselves. <br /><br />I was just shocked because it seemed like a BIG change in just a few short months.<br /><br />When I asked her about her new look, she answered like it was obvious, “I want boys to like me.”<br /><br />My heart broke. This was my tree climber, pancake flipper, saver of lost dogs and threatened insects (she’s been known to try to capture all the flies in the house before her father wacks them)<br /><br />I love personal style and unique looks. But shouldn’t a kid pick a look because THEY like it?<br /><br />But tell me, do any 13 year old boys tell their classmates –I’d really like you better if you had a bit more eyeliner?<br /><br /><strong>The boy</strong><br /><br />The flip side is my Ashton. He was sitting in the backseat with two buddies and we stopped at a red light. They all noticed a girl walking across the street. At the time, I thought she was 15 or 16, but maybe she was younger. One of the boys made a comment to Ashton and he said something to the effect, “I could never get a girl like that.”<br /><br />I was pretending not to listen.<br /><br />Half of me wanted to say – you are so special you can be with any amazing wonderful beautiful female<br /><br />And the other half was thinking – girls are not meant to be ‘got’<br /><br /><strong>The magazine</strong><br /><br />Last night I was in a waiting room flipping through a magazine (it was a couple of years old) and there was an article about guys telling their greatest turn ons. One guy said (paraphrasing) I knew I was going to dump my girlfriend soon and decided I should have sex with her one more time. I was just uninhibited and let myself go and it was the best sex ever.<br /><br />!<br /><br />His best sex (and the only time he was himself in bed with her) was with someone he didn’t want to see again?! <br /><br />So, here’s the truth: <br /><br />I don’t want my niece never to go out with boys<br /><br />I don’t want my son to think an attractive girl won’t be attracted to him<br /><br />But, more than that - - - I want them (and all kids) to grow up learning to form positive relationships. I hope they will have great friends of both genders and when they do have crushes and relationships it will be with people who they have a lot in common with, who bring out the best in them, and who they feel truly comfortable around. <br /><br />I hope that they never grow up to be like that guy in the magazine.S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-58266140896927621072009-10-18T09:48:00.000-07:002009-10-18T09:50:10.155-07:00Sink S3XI received a couple of emails after the last post about sink sex. <br /><br />It’s basically just a variation on up-against-the-wall with the convenience of leaning over the sink.<br /><br />Our favorite place for sink s3x is the bathroom, but the technique works anywhere –well, anywhere you have a sink… kitchen / laundry / wherever.<br /><br />Some of the many advantages of sink s3x<br /><br />1. Mirrors<br />2. Doors that lock (in the case of bathrooms) to keep little monsters out<br />3. Perfect place for the quickest of all quickies – you can even have sink s3x in the guest bathroom if you’re hosting a party (really, it works)S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2880770605315801304.post-23999061705882165022009-10-15T11:30:00.000-07:002009-10-15T11:32:22.701-07:00CAUTION: Don’t try this at a hotelThis may have been our most expensive s3xcapade, so far!<br /><br />Years ago when Cassie was a baby and the boys were about 3 & 6, we moved.<br /><br />It was a big move. I ended up in the new town with the kids weeks before William. We were holed up in a cheap hotel doing fun things like school registration and vehicle registration and trying not to lose my mind living with three kids in a hotel room, when William surprised me with a weekend visit. Surprise!<br /><br />There was barely enough room for me and the kids in that room. And when they were sleeping, there was no way we could….you know.<br /><br />So, off to the bathroom (one of our favorite places anyway). But we didn’t pick the shower or go for sink s3x. No, we made the mistake of reclining on the throne together. <br /><br />All was well in the world, until William felt a pinch on his butt. Next there was a hard plastic <i> snap </i>. When we were able to inspect the surroundings we found the toilet seat was not as strong as our home model. <br /><br />The lid was broken completely off.<br /><br />Despite the butt pinch and the plastic <i> snap </i>, we had no complaints. The kids didn’t wake up. We were together for a weekend. Everything was perfect.<br /><br />When we checked out, we admitted the damage. “The lid to the toilet seat came off. We’re responsible. We need to pay for it.”<br /><br />This required the attention of a manager. He had to consult his list. We weren’t worried. It was a cheap-o toilet seat. <i>It couldn’t cost much, right?</i><br /><br />Manager: I’ll add the $65.00 to your bill<br /><br />Us: ?! What ?!<br /><br />William: That is not a $65.00 toilet seat. I could get a toilet seat down the road at home-fix-it-store.<br /><br />Manager: They’re special, to fit on our toilets. You can only get them through one supplier.<br /><br />I felt myself get tense, clenched my jaws, try to think of something to say ...<br /><br />William said, “No problem” to the manager, like we go around paying damages to hotel rooms all the time. And he nudged me and said, “It was worth it.”S3XinthePantryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11838007073775158370noreply@blogger.com18