Saturday, August 29, 2009

Fighting the Grouchy Lady with s3x talk

Okay, I’m not going to blog about how crazy my kids are making me… I’m going to blog about how crazy a complete stranger almost made me.

I was blasting the car radio to “She wants it” (yeah, well – whatever – I like that song and I turn it up really loud, so no one will hear me singing off tune)

We pull into the parking lot at the HAPPY MEGA GROCERY, I turned off the car and

Ashton immediately asked: What won’t she say Mom?

I was like: Who what?

Ashton: The lady on the song. He says ‘she won’t say, she won’t say, I have to give it to her.’

I was just about to make up something about ‘her’ wanting to be a girl friend and him having to ‘give her ---‘ I don’t know? my mind didn’t fill in the blank. I may have been thinking something like ‘flowers’

But my thoughts were interrupted by Stranger Lady. She stood there in the parking lot, glaring at us giving us major grumpy look.

I gave her a look, like ‘What?’

She said, “Your music is really loud. And you had your child in the car with you.”

I just grabbed Ashton’s hand as we got close to her.

She said, “Are you trying to blow out your child’s ear drums?”

I so wanted to argue with her about music and ear drums and being obnoxious in public, but I got a better idea. I stopped right in front of her and answered Ashton’s question.

I bent down, looked him in the eye and…

I told him the truth. “In that song he doesn’t sing ‘she won’t say’ he sings ‘she wants it’ and he’s talking about sex. He thinks the girl wants sex with him. So when he sings ‘I’ve got to give it to her’ he means he’s got to have sex with her. At least that’s what I think he’s singing about. Sometimes people can hear the same song and think different things.”

I looked up for the woman and… she’d walked away. (Probably after the first time I said sex) Off to grump at someone else, I guess.


  1. Oh god! I'm like Ashton. I totally hear songs wrong. I think I sang Secret Asian Man for years and no one in my family told me -- ever!

    This post shows you gave your attention to the person who was most important - your son.

    And another reason not to talk to strangers!

  2. Well I suppose her being judgmental of you got her more than she was hoping for...probably gave her something to gossip about too lol! Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

  3. Hilarious, thanks for sharing!!!

    Sassy Chica

    Enjoy this fabulous day!!

  4. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I can tell I'm going to like it here. One of my biggest peeves is that once you have children everyone and their aunt thinks they are entitled to give you their opinions on what you are doing wrong.

  5. lol! Love it!

    just dropping by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same.

  6. Too funny, maybe she'll mind her own business next time she feels the need to parent another person's child.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog today... I've been looking around yours, I think I'll be visiting again soon. :-)

  7. Love the title of your blog, so had to stop by,

    I love the way you handled the situation, nosy people piss me off. I take mine to concerts all the time...bad mom me...


  8. You guys are great!!

    Thanks for the comments!

  9. Im all for making people who love to give unsolicted advice UNCOMFORTABLE. I mean who the hell do they think they are trying to tell YOU what you should or shouldnt do around your kid? Whatever lady! lol I have had so many people ask me where my daughters socks were when she was a baby. Somtimes I completey ignored them like they didnt exist. Or I would be like "Um, in my purse. If you can think of a way to keep them on her short of duct taping them to her, I would love to hear it!"
    I probably wouldnt have been so nice to the music police. But I guess when your kids are around you try to be civil. ya know, positive influence and all. lol

  10. I think strangers think its okay to give their unsolicited advice...

    I'd give them my best "fruck-you" stare! LOL

    thanks for stopping over.

  11. Grumpy old ladies typically can get a free pass, but don't interfere with how someone raises their children. She probably ran off to call CPS for abuse by pop song! What are people thinking sometimes?

  12. And that had to feel so satisfying, too, didn't it? And he probably learned from you that you will give him an honest answer to difficult questions, which is a good thing, too. Right?

  13. Atlanta - I'm with you - Brice was a super tantrumy two-year-old (only in public) I swear I walked around saying 'he's not like this at home, really he's wonderful.' But really - who cares what other people think? I LOVE MY KIDS!

    Bella - I don't have a F.Y. stare (the strongest I have is my mean mommy look) but I'm going to work on it.

    Mr. Man - I agree mostly if their old it's just like whatever, but not this time. She acted like she wanted me to explain myself. (Also, thank you for the linkage!)

    Michelle - you're right - it felt great. And Ash knows I'll tell him anything!

  14. Some people are only happy when their large nose is poking into someone else's business. I'd have yelled "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I THINK MY EAR DRUMS RUPTURED. CAN YOU REPEAT IT?"


  15. You know, sometimes people need to hear the truth, regardless if they're children or old hags. Well done.

  16. Hey, you're talking to the gal who let her 10-year-old watch Erin Brockovich...more than once. "They're called boobs, Ed!"

  17. That's hysterical!!!! I'm sending you a virtual high-5!!! You probably shocked her socks off! I can't stand when strangers give you unsolicited advice. Like the stranger who was pissed off at me one day because I didn't put socks on my babies (in the middle of summer in 110 degree weather).

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  18. Why do some people feel the need to comment on things that are absolutely none of their business whatsoever?

    And why do 90% of said people seem to be grumpy old bags?

    Glad you freaked her right on out!!

  19. Perfect. You handled that perfectly. Shut up lady it isnt your kid.

  20. I'm so glad you found my blog! Yours is a crack up! I look forward to following you!

  21. Found your blog through a link on Mr. Man's blog. Love your "voice" and post topics. I look forward to reading.

  22. LOL! So funny! I probably would've said something obnoxious back to her! Or maybe just, "I'm sorry, did I ask your professional opinion? Umm, no!" :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! Have a great day!

  23. What? You mean it's NOT "Secret Asian Man"?? Oh dear....that just blows my entire teenage years.

    I hate people who feel it's their business to tell a total stranger how to live their life. Every time that happens.....I get a weird twitch in my middle finger and it's very hard to control.

  24. I just should have said..."I'm sorry, could you speak up because I can't hear a thing your saying" and keep standing there cupping your ear and pretending you don't hear her until she shouts and then say "ooh...please stop shouting or you'll break my ear drum." :) Then walk away with a huge smile on your face.

  25. midlife slices - that is a perfect response! I can replay that scene (and the look on her face) in my mind. But I'm not really one to think of things like that on the spot, in public, among strangers.... wish I would have though!