Shhhhh….. NOT!

I got this tip from my mom when Ashton was a newborn. He was sound asleep taking a nap and Mom said, “Get the vacuum and vacuum his room.”

?!

“Really, I did it for all my kids and it works.”

“Works?”

“They’ll sleep through anything.”

And the fact is, I slept through a fire alarm in the college dorms and the alarm was right outside my door. I often sleep through my alarm or work the sound of it into my dream and keep on sleeping. Even motion doesn’t faze me. If I’m in a car for awhile, I’m sound asleep.

So, I tried it. I’m not one to clean unless I really MUST. But the whole idea of being quiet and tiptoeing around a sleeping baby never existed in our house. You know the loud ‘eeeeerrrrk’ sound that packing tape makes? That was Brice’s lullaby tunes. We were moving when he was about three months old. Packing boxes in his room as he dreamed away.

All three of my kids are really good sleepers. Yeah, often they don’t want to sleep at night (topic for another post, this one is about babies) but once asleep noise won’t wake them!

Thanks, Mom!

Turning my Princess into a Clown

Okay, I did it. Put me on the Mean Mommy List.

Cassie will not have ballet. And she will not even get to go to gymnastics. For three reasons:
1. I am mean & I won't let her (not, well not really)
2. Because Brice won't go to ballet or gymnastics with her (not, well sort of, but not really)
3. Because I want her (and Brice) to take a class at the same time that Ashton has Trumpet lessons so I'm not running all over the city 3 x a week to take 3 kids to 3 different things and so I can spend time making out (or more) with William (yes)

At first she really, really hated me. Because she has to learn ballet in case she wants to be a movie star.

But today was her (and Brice's) first circus class and she really liked it. "I juggled scarves and I'm going to be a little girl in the play."

knock knock!

If you have a toddler in your home, this is the perfect time to teach them to knock on closed doors. A wonderful thing about toddlers is that they like to copy what you do. So start knocking.

Knock on the front door when you come home before getting out your key.

Knock on their bedroom door before you take them in for naptime / nighttime

Knock on the bathroom door before bath time

Especially teach your toddler to knock on mommy and daddy’s door – on ALL bedroom doors

And keep playing and practicing and let’s hope this good habit will last a lifetime!!

Don’t make a mess

When you have preschoolers in the house, they notice things.

This is the age when something out of context triggers their interest. It is not the greatest trait when busy parents are trying to get a little action whenever and wherever they can.

So, busy parents, I warn you. Learn from my mistakes! If you’re going to have a stripfest s3x time in the living room, try you best to wake up before your preschooler(s). If you don’t and you hear the phone ring, really really try to pick up the phone before your four-year-old.

If you do, you may prevent your son from telling your parents: No I don’t know where Mommy is, but her and Daddy’s clothes were all over the living room floor. Oh, there they are sleeping on the sofa.

This happened years ago and is another one of my favorite Brice memories. He pestered me for a whole day why he has to pick up things off the floor in his room, but we threw our clothes on the floor.

PS thank god my mom is soooo cool!

What have I been saying?

Here is a wall street journal article about titles Housework pays off between the sheets

I would elaborate but after reading the article my house could use a little dusting!

What if?

What if your loved one just isn’t all that into being passionate anymore?
This is the #1 question sent to my inbox.

I have some ideas; but I want to start out by staying I’m not an expert on relationships or a doctor or anything. I started this blog to share ideas for passion in the midst of every day busy life (especially for parents). Because I think William and I are pretty lucky and have come up with some great ideas and often when I get to talkin’ with the girls they say “I never thought of that” and “you should write a book”

Question:
1. Do you already know what the problem is? Because often people will complain about something (my husband doesn’t want to have sex) and say they don’t know what the problem is, when they already know what the problem is. Do you? Come on, let’s hear it… have you done any of the following:
a. Insult your loved ones body?
b. Insult his / her love making skills?
c. Commented on his / her weight, body odor, or breath?
d. Have you been the one saying “no” and now that you want a little, you love may be retaliating?
e. Have you two been fighting about anything else?

Because, if you know the answer to any of the above….then you know how to solve this little issue without my tips, right?

For the rest of you, read on:

Tips
1. Start with something else. Sure you want to jump in the sack. Your love has been putting on the breaks or avoiding it. Start by connecting in some other way. Go for a walk. Hang out together. If you are having a very difficult time getting your loved ones attention (she blogs too much? He’s gaming all the time?) stop whatever you do and join in with what your love is doing.

2. Compliments. Not insincere fast ‘hey baby, u hot, let’s get it on!’ But real and true telling of what you love about your love. Say it.

3. Believe what s/he says. Even if you think it’s a cop-out. If she says she has no time because of work, laundry, dishes, homework…HELP get that stuff done. If he says he has a headache…buy his favorite pain killer, research headaches, check and see if he needs to see his doctor.

4. Be willing to indulge your partner. Think about what s/he is saying ‘no’ to and what it would take to turn that ‘no’ into a ‘yes’

5. Share memories. Especially steamy sexy fun memories. “Hey remember that time…. I really loved that.”

And, saving the best for last, you could try this:

The SHOWER TRICK
Wait for your love to get in the shower
Wait a half a minute so you know that the water is just right
Your love is sudsy and soapy
And then walk into the bathroom
Lock the door to keep the critters out
Open the shower curtain or shower door
Wait for the look of surprise on your loved ones face
And then
Quickly move your eyes to stare at their body
Keep staring and say
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were in here,” and keep staring in a complimentary way. And then say, “You look (fill in the blank with what your love would want to hear). I’m going to be thinking of you all day.”
And then let the shower curtain fall (or close the shower door) and walk away.
Don’t go too far, I’m hoping that your love will call you back and invite you in the shower!

Free FUN

These difficult financial times suck for everyone....so I’ve come up with a list of 10 free ways to have fun.

Give some a try & please add your own ideas in the comment section for others. Let’s all save more money and have more FUN!

1. Go for a walk
2. Play a board game – you still have board games, don’t you?
3. Eat outside – you’re going to eat anyway --- go outside in the yard, balcony or bring everything to a park
4. Go to the park – swing on the swings, slide down the slide, play tag
5. Got dirt? Water? Have a mud fight. Yeah, really. I dare you!
6. Pull out those old CDs, pin drives, (photo albums if you’re that old) and look at pictures together
7. Massage
8. Stare at the stars, wake up in the middle of the night and go to a window or go outside and just enjoy the universe
9. Cook together – make a great meal and share it by feeding each other
10. Go on a long drive together (okay, not free given the cost of gas, so I’ll add another one to my list) but drive somewhere without being in a hurry, take time to talk, look around, make-out in the car. Ahhhh… making out in a car, how long has that been?
11. Talk. Turn off everything – TV, computers, cell phones, etc…, turn out the lights, light a candle and just talk. Share happy memories from childhood. What did you love when you were a kid that you wish you did more of? Can you find a way to incorporate it into your adult world?

When I was a kid, I LOVED to climb trees. I lived in trees during the summer. Up in a tree away from the world, I'd read books, draw, sing and, of course, spy on everyone down below. Trees were my perfect place to be. I've climbed trees with all three of my kids throughout the years, but I don't think William and I have ever scaled a tree togehter. Maybe we should try that for our free fun!!

When there’s a newborn in the house

The second an infant enters the home, life is never the same again. Ahhh… babymoons.
It doesn’t matter if it is the first or tenth newborn you bring into the home –both parents and siblings fall under complete control of The Infant.

The Infant is programmed with many tricks. For example:

The time warp: Time spent staring into The Infants beautiful face, even when The Infant is sleeping, especially when The Infant is sleeping.

The sleep hold: The Infant will fall asleep on your chest, rendering you motionless.

The faux emergency cry: The Infant senses when parents’ foreplay reaches the tipping point and lets out the faux emergency cry. The cry is just loud and long enough to seem urgent. And then isn’t repeated. At the best of times, this cry has a rebound effect on both parents. They think, “That was probably nothing,” and pause to wait for the next cry. Then –REBOUD- they worry, “that was a serious cry. Why isn’t The Infant crying more?” Whereby both parents take one step apart (or the equivalent of one step if they are in a non-vertical position) and rush to check on The Infant. The Infant will be sleeping, but don’t be fooled. The infant knows you are watching. At the worst of times the faux emergency cry reaches only one parent. It’s a terrible scene –one lover not wanting to take that one step back, murmuring, “The Infant will be fine,” rubbing, rocking, pleading and the other parent taking that step back, rushing off to check on The Infant.

In addition to being under the influence of The Infant, pregnant sex is over. Glorious, wonderful, sensual, worry free, pregnant sex is gone the moment The Infant arrives.

There is hope!

Yes, you must gaze upon the infant and you mustn’t miss an opportunity to let the infant nap on your chest. And, of course you have to check on the infant when you hear an emergency cry, even if it is a faux emergency cry.

Here are some tips to maintaining (or finding) romance even while you are living in the clutches of The Infant.


1. No fighting about The Infant – (see s3xy laundry post – the same advice for housework applies to childcare. It sound odd, but it is true). Here’s the deal. The person you love and created (or adopted) this infant with loves The Infant as much as you do, trust them to take excellent care of the infant and they will.

2. Nothing else matters – care of The Infant, care of other children, your basic health and wellness. Nothing else matters during this time. Not house cleaning, not sending thank you notes for the babyshower, not posting a million zillion pictures of The Infant on FB.

3. Kiss. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. Kiss as often as you can. Think of your interrupted desires as extended foreplay.

4. And when baby is sleeping, and other kids are cared for, refer to number two above. Don’t pull out the vacuum, call a friend, or check your email. Find your love and have fun (before The Infant can let out another faux emergency cry!)

These are just a few little tips and though I’ve had three infants, it’s been awhile for me and William. Please share your tips for fellow parents in the comments section. Thank you!